April Fool story becomes reality
Buried under the debris of old stories I've excavated this one from April 1st 2009. The article wasn't intended to be entirely accurate, but in at least one result it was prophetic in awarding council leader Jane Scott her OBE several months before the Queen got round to doing the job more officially. The knighthood I awarded to deputy leader John Thompson hasn't yet been confirmed - perhaps next year. As for how many of the other spoofs have come to pass, you decide. Here's the story:
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The new council for Wiltshire (WC) will begin to serve local people for the first time today.
Across Wiltshire people will continue to be able to get all the services they need from local customer contact points in Trowbridge, Salisbury, Devizes, Chippenham, Mere and Marlborough.
There will also be one website - www.wiltshire.gov.uk - and one main contact number 0300 456 0100 to make it easier for people to find the right person to get the service they need.
The new council replaces the county and the four local district councils. The Tory / New Labour alliance which was responsible for inflicting the new council on Wiltshire claims it will be a more efficient local authority that, in the first year, will save £8.5m. However they can't explain why, if this is the case, they need to inflict above-inflation council tax rises on the people of Wiltshire.
The ConLabs say local people will be given a stronger voice and an opportunity to influence the way services are provided in their communities through the introduction of area boards across the county, but can't explain why parish councils lose their power to call in planning applications.
To mark the occasion Jane Scott OBE and Sir John Thomson, the leader and deputy leader of Wiltshire Council, will officially open the four main customer service points at Monkton Park in Chippenham, Bradley Road in Trowbridge, Browfort in Devizes and the brand new offices in Milford Street in Salisbury.
The council's strapline is "Where everybody mutters". This relates to the reaction of the public to the new council.
A new Wiltshire Council flag will be raised at each of the venues (except Salisbury, where local people are revolting) and at County Hall in Trowbridge where Wiltshire roses will be planted with large quantities of fertilizer to mark this significant day. The flag will carry the new WC coat of arms - a toilet rampant flanked by cisterns sinistral and a bar destral, designed by the royal armourer at a cost of £150,000.
A representative of each of the old councils will present on bended knee the ceremonial keys to the buildings and a signed deed of surrender of the assets.
"We felt it was really important to mark this special day but to keep the costs to a minimum. April 1 marks the start of a new way for local government in Wiltshire and it's well worth celebrating," said Mrs Scott OBE.
The council's strapline is "We're everybody nutters." This relates to the fact that only a lunatic would think that putting an area the size of Wiltshire under a single council was a good idea.
She said she was particularly excited to be visiting, under armed guard, the new offices in Salisbury.
"We are very pleased with these new premises - they are central, easily accessible, informal and friendly - they really are a great example of the face of the new council," she said. (The new offices are unpopular with Salisbury people and are costing far more than originally expected.)
The council's strapline is "Where everybody natters". This relates to the new Area Board Talking Shops (ABTSs), where people will be allowed to talk about matters deemed suitable for discussion by the new council.